February 2011
2 posts
Maybe to people at the shallow end of the gene...
“I’m, like, a pretty deep dude.”
-The Situation
Just like Mickey Mantle
“I’m looking like a hot, drunk baseball player.”
-Snooki
January 2011
5 posts
Not a quote but...
Why did Roger still have his head on his shoulders after having sex with JWoww?
No
“Do you want to see her C-section scar?”
-Ronnie
Then I'm going to lick it, of course
“If I see that kid tonight I’m going to tear him a new asshole.”
-Deena
1 tag
And maybe mildly Autistic?
“I’m a good time/holiday/party/blast.”
- Deena
1 tag
The smartest thing ever said on The Jersey Shore?
“She’s like a parasite ………….. and I’m the host.”
-Vinnie (who went to college)
September 2010
4 posts
Yes, we know.
“The Situation’s style is like super obnoxiously aggressive.”
-Pauly D
Just like Anna Karenina
“My girl, the brunette, has an unbelievable ass that you read about.”
-Pauly D
2 tags
We've never seen anyone like Uncle Nino before
Oh wait.
Silly MTV
1 tag
Obviously
“Obviously you’re a loosey-goose, because he got it in.”
-Snooki
August 2010
7 posts
2 tags
Why is tonight different than any other night?
“Let’s put on sexy clothes and be dumbasses.”
-Snooki
3 tags
For the 5,321,674,823rd time...
“I’m done.”
-Sammi
3 tags
"Whereas I'm a drunk skank with a fake job"
“You’re a drunk skank without a job.”
-JWOWW
1 tag
Go ahead, Snooki. Spell 'sociological'
“Guys are douchebags and they don’t know how to treat women and I feel that’s why the lesbian rate in the country is going up.”
-Snooki
There were no good quotes
“This show kind of sucks, now, eh?”
-Jersey Shore Quotes 11:01PM 8/12/10
4 tags
It's like the GAP for haggard half-hookers
“We’re in the sex shop and I’m like, we’re in my element.”
-JWOWW
2 tags
No You're Not
“I’m over it”
-Sammi, who is still won’t shut the fuck up about ‘it’
July 2010
2 posts
In 1922, Columbus sailed the ocean blue
“I feel like a Pilgrim in the 1920’s doing this.”
-Snooki
January 2010
8 posts
6 tags
2 tags
Stalking is totally Mad Weird
“She’s mad weird that chick”
- Pauly D
1 tag
Little Jersey Shore →
2 tags
Antagonizing bar skank OR time-bending theoretical...
“Go back to New Jersey”
3 tags
2 tags
Cloudy With A Chance of Greaseballs - Snooki does... →
4 tags
What about Taco Tuesday?
“You’re excluded from Surf-and-Turf Night. You’re excluded from Ravioli Night. You’re excluded from Chicken-Cutlet Night.”
-The Situation
12/31/09
December 2009
26 posts
4 tags
2 tags
6 tags
I knew The Situation is a self aware genius. Also… Pauly D’s accent..
5 tags
Call me Garfield…
4 tags
You + Me = US (Calculus)
“I was ready to put you in the equation. Like, you. In the equation.”
-Ronnie to Sammi
12/17/09
5 tags
Readymade excuse for cheating:
“We were dancing to house music and battling on the floor.”
-JWOWW
12/17/09
4 tags
I know what you mean
“When I saw that, I was like, ‘Fuck it, I’m gonna dance,’ you know what I mean?
-Ronnie
10/17/09
3 tags
No you're not
“I’m, like, growing.”
Nicole aka Snooki aka Snickers
-12/17/09
3 tags
So many things wrong with this sentence
“When I left Karma I didn’t know what was going on in my head. I was gonna knock a bitch up.”
-Sammi
12/17/09
2 tags
That's G
“Mike would bang a Gatorade bottle if it had a pulse.”
- Ronnie
10/17/09
3 tags
Except not banging other dudes...
“I would do anything to have Tom in my life.”
-JWOWW
12/17/09
3 tags
Is that a James Joyce character?
“Chill out Freckles McGee”
- The Situation
12/17/09
6 tags
3 tags
...but her name was Mary
“I’m not a name-dropper, but….” (in response to whether The Situation had any luck with famous ladies in LA)
- The Situation
TMZ Live
12/14/09
4 tags
Does The Situation know what Meta means?
2 tags
3 tags
SpikeTV = Big Time
The Situation and crew were big timing it at the Spike Video Game Awards. I tried to record it, but my DVR messaged me back, “What the fuck show are you talking about?”
4 tags
Moron Glorifies Own Assault
3 tags
Twisted Sister
“I’ve been like Suzy Homemaker over here. Like a nun.”
-JWOWW (who has cheated on her boyfriend twice with a roommate who’s penis piercing she previously admired.)
12/10/09
4 tags
Mixed Messages
“That’s what I like. A good guy and a jerkoff. It’s all in the same.”
- Nicole Snooki Snickers
12/10/09
5 tags
GLAD
“She doesn’t want to feel like a trashbag, because she has a boyfriend.”
-Pauly D on JWOWW (who, much like a trashbag, is mostly plastic)
12/10/09